AIDS

I Still
By Gene Valentine
July 2004
I still ...miss you even if you don't miss me.think of you even if you don't think of me.wonder whether you were really my special friend or justanother man playing pretend?
I won't believe that it was a lie, that all the love,passion, lust, tears,laughter, & joy you gave me were untrue but where are younow? I'm still herewaiting, wondering where you've been & do you still callyourself my friend?
I still ...question if you really cared when I became sick & if so,why were we over so quick?need you to hold me & tell me how you'll be there 'tilthe end.long to hear your voice again.
It's been 333 days & 999 pills. The virus is at bay now,but like all enemiesI know that it's lurking in the shadows of my t-cells.I wonder did this virus touch you too? & if so what willyou do?Did the meds make you sick? Did you take as many pills asI or was it 999x3?I wonder did you sleep well or were you in my same hell?
I still ...miss you even if you don't miss me.think of you even if you don't think of me.want you to be my friend even if you can't make love tome again.
I still ... I still ... I still ...
Back to Body Positive magazine, Vol. XVII, No. 2.